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Older Updates

This is where we put all older updates that don't fit on the homepage.

Know that some information may be out of date.

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September 18, 2019

All people who have joined the group chat "The Piss Choir" have been cursed.

Basically, how it works is if you ever join that 'chat', something very important to you will be lost.

So far it's only been relationships because you know we're young and stuff. Whatever, okay.

It's affected most of us already, so I feel bad even though I'm part of it.

We know it's with the group chat because the only person who we've been trying to join for a long time now (Diego) hasn't and now will never join,

his important thing is still with him. Which is good.

Maybe it's an 'equivalent exchange' from when I asked that 8 ball when I was young to see if I would live until 2020.

That's the only possible reason this is happening... right...

September 11, 2019

We are out of limbo now and we found Jesus and maybe Eddie.

Eddie might be too cool for us now, though.

Jaryd has nothing to say.

Patrick says "HI!!!"

Diego says "what."

And we are all still doing good, I think.

We are still alive, by the way. I don't think the shirts are coming in though, we don't have no money.

July 31, 2019


July 22, 2019

Nothing happened on 7/23/19 at 11:41 PM PST in

Do not ask, for nothing happened on 7/23/19 at 11:41 PM PST in

July 9, 2019

July 1, 2019

It is Sam's and Alfonzo's day of birth today.

Another year to the best cult leader.

June 30, 2019



Added fireworks for this day.

June 24, 2019

It's the first anniversary of's creation!!!!!!!!!!!

Time has flew for all of us.

Even without Sam, Eddie, Jesus, and all the others.

Most of us will now be moving higher in life so maybe we can meet them again someday. (Sorry Hatimu)

We had our moments. More things like the honor of the greatest joke of all time going to PatL.

And the spin-off of The Cult (even though The Cult is still above it)

For now, we take a break from looking at the time and drinking Life Water on the daily to rest in limbo again.

The website should be updated to present day soon so stay tuned for that.

March 26, 2019

It's been a while, and just to make it clear, The Cult is not dead. Far from it, in fact.

We now have an instagram page up, and shirts might be coming soon! Which is always nice.

The shirts might come. I want to put an emphasis on that. Not to get your hopes up or anything.

Anyways, now we have an official flag! It's been out for a while but I haven't had the time to update this website in a while. So now its here.

Also there is now Bassifist Major. For all the people in the spinoff of The Cult that I mentioned once.

Next update may be a while as nothing is really happening now, so see you then.

January 11, 2019

I know this is the third update on this, but I have to clarify something because of miscommunication on my part.

While the T-Pose will be removed from our cult, it still is a symbol of who we are, and who we were.

We will still do it sometimes if it is to where we have most upper-class members in one place, but thats really the only time we might do it.

So, not completely removed like I thought. My bad.

January 1, 2019

Happy new year to all the bassifists and people who have looked at our website!

Or just to all people. I don't really know.

Anyways, we have had some questions about our obviously questionable decision of removing the T-Pose from our cult.

The reason we have done this is mainly because it has become a dead meme, and we were basically milking it for longer than its lifespan was supposed to be.

Some other reasons include that the fortnite kids were just too much for us, and that everbody knew what we were talking about. It didnt have the same effect as when we first started The Cult back in April/March.

"This" pose will still be in The Cult as a kind-of replacement to it. Which is ironic because it was brought up before the T-Pose.

December 22, 2018

It has been a while, and a change that had to have come soon, has.

We do not want to be affiliated with the T-Pose any longer.

Even though we started with it and the name has it, even Sam himself was said we will be cutting it to only extreme circumstances.

Along with this, the site has been updated to where we are now, and a little christmas theme as well.

December 7, 2018

Our website has reached 10,000 views, with 11 followers on our Neocities page.

All bassifists thank you for checking out our website.

On a sadder note, Emilio has left us. While he will still be in The Cult, we will not see him any more.

November 29, 2018

Today was a smaller cult meeting with all in the middle plane (with Sam and Elijah)

Sam has learned Epiano again, and promises to record it so that we can put it on here.

Also, Sal was Santa. Don't ask.

October 31, 2018

I just wanted to make this update to say that we are still alive and thriving and that something big will come soon.

I choose not to say what on the webiste. Most actual bassifists already know though.

Also, I think the Fortnite war is almost over. Fortnite is dying out at the release of Blackout,

and while I don't prefer Call of Duty, it is nice to see Fortnite starting to die down.

Soon we will not have to see such things like one-dollar fortnite wins on Ebay.

October 23, 2018

Today we have sighted a rival to The Cult, a new one, most likely from Fortnite adding the T-Pose emote.

A group of kids gathered around, with what Jayrd and Patrick said was more than what we ever had.

This is scary, but we dont fret. It might be only for today. And if it isnt, then we will go to war with them.

The war on the Fortnite kids still rages on. We wait for the day we inevitably win.

October 6, 2018

The time has come, brothers. Sooner than we expected.

Only time will tell if this will be more than a war or less than a war.

Edit: At least the sound that plays when you equip it is the traditional Bassifism drone sound

October 5, 2018

We have confirmation that the popular game, Fortnite, will be adding a T-pose to their emote lineup.

This is very bad news, as all 7-10 year olds will now do the T-pose.

Sam himself has decided to wage the war on the 7-year olds and get rid of all of them.

Do your part today, whenever you see a kid doing a fornite dance, use all of the negative energy in you and put it into your T-pose.

September 27, 2018

There have been rumors stating that Patrick (PatL) has to leave The Cult because he chose not to beatbox.

Although we would love for him to beatbox, there is no way that PatL can leave The Cult anyways.

September 24, 2018

Our site has hit 5000 views, and along with that, 5 followers on our neocities page.

All of the bassifists thought that we would not find much success in the website,

but it turns at we were all wrong (for the good)

In the words of Jesus, "Ayee, the cult. More like the religion now"

(also, it is the 3 month anniversary of the website going up)

September 18, 2018

Diego is now a part of acapella as a bass.

September 14, 2018

Emilio has been banished.

September 6, 2018

They removed potats.

These have now come a rarity, so if you have any please send them to us at:

Yellowknife, Mars.

You can send in a sort of care package anywhere and we will be sure to find them.

September 5, 2018

Today, we are finally out of limbo.

All of our members are here (that stayed in the middle plane)

so theres not much to report on it.

Although, we do still miss our Cult Leader and Eddie, along with other bassifists.

August 28, 2018

Today was our cult meeting.

Although we did not have all the members we wanted for our trip,

we did have a considerable amount of fun (we, including Lucas, Eddie, Jesus, and Sam)

The cult meeting was at the fair and I have a sort of vlog-update thing to go along with it.

See the video here

July 1, 2018

Today is both the Cult Leader's and Alfonzo's birthday.

We wish them both great peace on this sacred day.

June 24, 2018

Today, I (the Second in Command) start running this website.

I also had a small reunion with the parting Bassifists by meeting them, and we all touched the Fire Extinguisher.

Whether touching the Fire Extinguisher is now part of our rituals or not will be up to Cult Leader.

June 14, 2018

We are very sad to see most of our Bassifists move on into the next plane of existance.

This includes our Cult Leader, a Third of Command, and three Bassifists.

While they will still be in The Cult, our time with them will be cut short.

We will also have to recruit more people into The Cult so it thrives in the Middle Plane for the next 2 years.